Rough Beginnings
by Rashel k
Summary: The story of Tobe's childhood, his scar and a beloved brother. "Okay, but you must do exactly as I say, understand?" Tobe nodded eagerly. Jeon, flickering his eyes towards the living room door inspecting the large figure of father sharing a goodbye with their mother, dropped his voice further. "Even if father says something otherwise, understand?"


**Yo :) I had this idea way back in July but I never got around to doing it.**

**Hope you enjoy!**

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><p>The night had fast come in, pursuing them to their hideout. Many of the men had already found a spot to collapse and sleep but one remained awake contemplating his next plan, his next failure others would argue. Shame still coated his skin and he rubbed the back of his neck as if to scratch and peel away the memory and toss it into the back of his mind with the rest.<p>

Restless, the man strode into the washroom that was all too small to reside the sheer amount of residents. It was comical during the morning rush to attain the bathroom before ones bladder burst. He supposed he should expand his hideaway but that would cost a pretty penny that he did not own, nor could he attain without theft. Not that it hasn't crossed his mind, but a few particular residents in the closest town were too meddling to attempt such a mission. Besides, he had greater achievements to stride for than adding another washroom.

The man splashed his face, trying to remain awake long enough for a plan to manifest in his cunning mind. Only then would he allow his wounded body to rest. Call it self-punishment or feverish dedication, either he would agree with.

Absently, he ran the tips of his fingers along the large crescents within his skin. Many years had dragged by but his skin still had the tendency to tingle upon contact, like it was determined to remind him of that dreadful day.

Tracing along the lines, he looked up into the tiny mirror nailed carelessly to the wall. He avoided his own reflection for very good reason, and the men now snoring collectively in the large room next door were nice enough to take into consideration his disgust at such reflective surfaces. Now he stared carefully into the little device, inspecting the strangely purple marks that stained his skin. The ridges were smooth, deliberate and oh so deep. He forced his lips into an unnatural curve upwards, testing the stretch and pull of the skin along his cheeks. The tightening could have been considered painful, stretching the healed crevasses to their limits, the skin haven become accustomed to rarely been manipulated in such a way for a very long time.

Huffing at his distorted reflection, the man slipped off his headband marked with a very similar shape. In his youth he had thought it was devilishly clever to use the symbol as a collective emblem. Though he had outgrown his passive aggressive phase the insignia stuck. Ruffling his hair, he noted the dirt and dried blood clotting the strands into clumps. The concept of a wash was intriguing but he felt no desire to exert himself to carry out the process.

Figuring he might think up a plan quicker if he were laying down he silently strode into the room of musical snores, climbing up to his small sleeping quarters. He had established ranking down to the littlest detail of sleeping higher than the rest of the men, so he could watch over them all and cease their antics now and again.

The sheets were refreshingly cool against the skin of his arms, haven stripped down to his pain black t-shirt. Most people enjoyed being cocooned in a ball of warmth while he enjoyed the chilling sensation of fresh cool coverings. It reminded him of huddling besides his brother during their outings into the wilderness to be taught more complex techniques, of which his mother could not know of due to her tendency to worry.

The thought of his brother made his chest tighten. Jeon was named after their father but he had a much gentler nature when it came to family than the old man. He was the apple of their father's eye, the heir to his 'company', excelling at whatever was thrown at him. His reactions were impeccable as were his manners when addressing his future employees. He'd gained the respect of the 'company's recruits long before he had turned the tender age of thirteen; he was bowed to when he walked down those long dingy corridors on the way to their fathers office.

Despite all that, Jeon was vey level headed and always ensured he had time for his younger brother. Jeon had taught him whatever he could, gently ignoring his younger siblings lack of coordination and slow combat skills, firmly implanting the basics into his head before moving on. Looking back now, Jeon's patience with him was commendable.

Again, he had to wonder whether everything would have turned out differently if Jeon had just done as father had instructed him to. He never disobeyed a direct order, no matter how terrible, but this one time it had cost them more than they could have imagined.

_"Tobe, hurry up."  
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_The call sent a thrill of excitement down into his stomach, hurrying him in stuffing his bags with clothes and other essentials for the trip. He was finally allowed to go with them and he wasn't going to drag them down so he was cautious with the amount he packed.  
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_Finished, he pranced down the stairs to meet his brother at the front door. Jeon smiled at his brother's enthusiasm. Jeon had tried to explain how difficult these trips were, to truthfully deter him from wanting to accept their father's suspicious invitation to join them, yet Tobe remained ever giddy in spite of the warnings.  
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_"You can still stay behind, help mother in town with her errands. She'll need a strong man around to help her-" he attempted for the millionth time, making sure to speak quietly and out of earshot of their father.  
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_"Hyuuuun," Tobe whined, hoping to use the endearing term of elder brother to soften Jeon's attempts.  
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_"Tobe, really. I don't think you coming would be a good idea. Something's... Off." He finished lamely, knowing that he could not change Tobe's mind. "Okay, but you must do exactly as I say, understand?" Tobe nodded eagerly. Jeon, flickering his eyes towards the living room door inspecting the large figure of father sharing a goodbye with their mother, dropped his voice further. "Even if father says something otherwise, understand?" Tobe hesitated but agreed anyway. He couldn't be left behind again.  
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_Somewhat satisfied, Jeon took Tobe's bags from him and slung them over his own shoulders. When he went to protest, he should carry his own weight, he was silenced by a look from Jeon. Pouting slightly, Tobe shuffled his final rather light rucksack onto his slim shoulders. Maybe if he showed them during the trip that he was more than capable of doing the same as them they'd stop treating him like he wasn't man enough, wasn't good enough. He was finally at the age Jeon began travelling out with father and eight years later Tobe finally had a chance to prove himself.  
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_Jeon watched his brother from the corner of his eye when they set off from home, tracking up the steep jagged rocky surface of one of the many mountains they'd be crossing and fully scaling in the time they were training. Jeon knew the pass like the back of his hand now that he was reaching the age of sixteen so he noticed immediately when their father started to detour through the tougher areas of their journey.  
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_He felt uneasy and he knew it had something to do with their father letting Tobe join them this time. Honestly, Father scarcely gave Tobe a second thought, which may have been the reason Jeon had tuck it upon himself to care, guide and train his little brother like a father should. So, to have Tobe suddenly join the ranks of ninja training darkness hung over Jeon that refused to shift.  
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_The three had only two stops on their way to their first designation. Jeon could practically feel the relief radiating off of Tobe when they finally stopped in a clearing to set up camp. Tobe offered to gather up fire wood and took the opportunity to take a small rest out of sight. When he came back, branches in arms, both Jeon and father had their tents up. His father watched Tobe place the wood in between the two tent with a small gap for safety with cold critical eyes. The eyes of a killer, he'd once heard his mother cry alone when father had been called out for a mission.  
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_Jeon offered to help set up Tobe's tent but he refused on principle, saying that he could do it alone like anyone else. "Come, Jeon. He wants to set it up himself." Tobe was reluctantly left to his own devises. Time passed at it had grown dark. "We should retire for the night," their father stated, dowsing out the fire without a second look at his youngest struggling with the simple task of building his shelter.  
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_The sudden darkness flooded Tobe's senses, fear striking his young heart along with the shame, so when a hand touched his arm he went to let out a startled cry. Jeon quickly muffled his brother's mouth as to not alarm their father. "Quiet, Tobe," he hissed. Tobe relaxed at Jeon's voice. "Let me help you get your tent up." There, no option to argue or refute the assistance.  
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_Grateful, he followed his brother's soft spoken instructions and they had the shelter up within a few minutes despite the lack of light aside from the slim weak moonlight filtering through the trees. They bid each other goodnight and fell into their respected beds.  
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_Days passed in a similar pattern, with the occasional cruel skill drills their father inflicted on the boys. Drills that even Jeon was becoming tired of. He tried to help his brother as much as he could during their time travelling but their father quickly sought to a way of restricting that help. _It was the coming of a new moon that night. The night Tobe's childhood fell to pieces before him._  
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_Their father had been extra rigorous with his training, pushing both boys to their limits till they were both covered in sweat and breathing hard. Although, for some reason, their father seemed extra irritable that day. He had commanded for harder, faster, smoother attacks and blocks from the pair as he instructed them to spar. Frustrated, he had told the boys to finish their reps before stopping for the day and walked off to god knows where without explanation.  
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_Jeon encouragingly patted his brother on the back when he came to sit beside him next to the fire he had started. The skies were already beginning to darken. His hair had been standing on end all that day, his nervousness only increased when their father stormed off and refused to return till dark. But he was not going to let Tobe see his fear, especially not after seeing how delighted he had appeared after he was able to keep up with the drills the entire day. He had been beaming despite his tired abused limbs after returning from being washed, and Jeon didn't have the heart to spoil it for him.  
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_They had been talking techniques when their father reappeared out from the darkness. Tobe jumped at the sudden appearance but Jeon remained cool and sceptical. __Their father's smooth expression gave nothing away, not where he had been nor what he was thinking. "You boys were talking about the Kanzar, am I correct?" Tobe nodded his head enthusiastically. Jeon had actually been explaining how, at times their men were captured, there was a way of poisoning their guards through a small device that was connected to the underside of one's nail that injected the liquid into the skin killing their opponent in seconds. A swift clean killing had always been fathers preferred choice. Jeon used to think it was because he hated to have his mother worry upon seeing the blood stains but he now believed it was because he liked the power it gave him. Anyone could murder in a messy fashion, it took great skill to dispatch of a man without spilling a drop of blood on one's self.  
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_"Jeon, how many men can you take at the academy?" Jeon stared levelly into his father's cold dark eyes. The academy was simply a few of father's highest elite men instructed with teaching Jeon moves in his father's absence. He had become quite efficient against these men and could dispatch of the whole group within a few dozen seconds.  
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_"Fifteen, father."  
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_Tobe's eyes widened at this confession. Oblivious to the mental power struggle between father and son, he turned awe struck and idealising eyes onto his brother.  
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_"Very good," their father seemingly praised. "And how many of them have you disposed of?" Jeon felt his back prickle at the question. His father did not dispatch as in render unable to fight, he meant the number he had send to the after-world.  
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_"They will one day be my companions, father. Zero."  
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_Their father's eyes hardened. "Zero. Jeon, how do you expect to lead these men if you do not demonstrate your authority?"  
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_"I intend to earn their respect, father, through skill and dedication." On any other day, Jeon's response would have gotten a scoff from their father and a simple 'you will think differently when you're older', but tonight his honourable response gained a deadly glint to their father's eye.  
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_"You wish to demonstrate skill?"  
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_"Yes, father."  
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_A rare and terrifying thing occurred then. Their father smiled. A smile that sent Tobe's fluttering heart into his stomach. He had finally noticed the atmosphere surrounding these men and it rightfully made him uneasy. "Then I believe a demonstration is in order. Stand up, Jeon." The boy obliged, raising to his feet and closing the space between him and his father. His father handed him a couple of kunai, pointing towards a large oak twenty odd feet from the pair. "Strike the centre."  
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_And he did; again and again he hit the centre of the tree. Their father sneered. "Basics are always good to reconfirm in a young man, but it is quite different in battle. Defend," father began throwing blades so quickly Tobe feared he truly intended to engage in a death match with his brother. Jeon knocked the blades aside with ease and was able to block with his own blade when their father came in for a frontal attack using the flying kunai as a distraction. "Very good," he snarled in his face. "But there is one area in which you lack greatly, son."  
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_The pair broke apart. Their father spun to point at his youngest son sitting on the edge of the fallen log they had dragged up next to the fire to act as a seat. "Stand boy." Tobe jumped to his feet, fear flashing in his eyes. "Hit your target, Jeon." Tobe's eyes mimicked that of a deer, staring at their father as if he couldn't believe what he was hearing.  
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_Jeon stood ridged, poised.  
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_"Jeon, demonstrate your worthy."  
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_"No."  
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_The silence that followed his defiance was a long and gruelling one. The flames that replaced his father's eyes flashed back at him, dangerous and unstable like a forest fire. "You will do as I say, boy."  
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_"No, father. I am not going to harm my own brother."  
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_"You will do as I say and show me that I did not produce a pathetic fool for a son. Take your aim." Jeon stood firm. Their father reacted before either son could gather the energy to move. He had reached Tobe, grasped him still in a vice like grip in one hand, and with the other tore into the young boy's face with the blade that had been used prior to attack Jeon. Tobe cried out in agony, pulling back desperately but to no avail, tears stinging his skin as it invalided the gushing wounds. Their father spun the boy to face a white faced Jeon. "'X' marks the spot, Jeon," their father jeered, shoving the boy away from him demanding for him to stay. "Now act accordingly and finish your brother's suffering."  
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_Tobe's sobbing filled Jeon's ears and his stomach dropped at the sight of his baby brother's torn up bloody face. Their father had stepped out of range, growling for Tobe to stay put again, threatening to do a lot worse to the runt of the family if he disobeyed.  
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_"Stay where you are, boy. Jeon, do as I say now." Their father barked as Tobe stumbled back tenderly clutching his face in desperation to subdue the agonising pain that was radiating along his face and down his neck. Panic, fear, betrayal and most prominently pain swirled in his head as he sobbed uncontrollably. He wanted the pain to end. He wanted to go back to when Jeon was patiently teaching him the blocking stance in their garden. He wanted this pain to end.  
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_Suddenly he heard his brothers voice among all of the pain, and a memory surfaced beneath it all.  
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_A distinct image of his brother's serious face entered his mind and he was saying something important... Do exactly as I say... Even if father says otherwise...  
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_Then his words broke through his hazy mind, "Tobe! Tobe, run!"  
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_Tobe tried to rub the blood from his eyes ignoring the scream of the tender skin he was disturbing there but his hands were too covered to do anything good for his vision. His blurred gaze was drawn to the sound of loud clashing and he could just make out the shape of two people. His father and... Jeon!  
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_"Run, dammit!"  
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_"Stay right there, boy!" His father growled, aiming a low swipe at his eldest son's stomach.  
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_"Go! Hide!" Jeon desperately yelled. He had to protect his bother. He had to. "Now!"  
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_Tobe's legs began to move on command, his body understanding the danger. He ran as hard as he could, tripping and scraping his hands and knees recklessly in his blind fleeing. The sounds of the scuffle had long been left behind him but he daren't slow his pace. Focusing on the pain he used it as motivation to move faster, faster, faster.  
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_When Tobe's body finally gave out he came to an ungracefully stop, rolling to save himself any further injury, leaving him gasping on the floor. He shivered on the damp ground and allowed himself the briefest moment to inspect the damage to his face. Tears were still trickling steadily down his face but his sobbing had been replaced with gasping groans. Why... Why had father...? Jeon...  
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_The sound of pounding feet wouldn't have caught Tobe's attention unless he had steadied his breathing. He stumbled to his feet only to see his father running at him with a terrifying smile plastering his bloodied face. Tobe had no air in his lungs to yell, not that anyone would have heard him. He was destined to die here, in the forest, at the hands of his own heartless deranged father.  
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_Tobe instinctively backed up, squeezing his eyes shut awaiting the tremendous pain to spread out from his chest to the rest of his body.  
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_"Duck!"  
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_Tobe felt the air around him compress. Gasping Tobe stared up from his crumpled position confused to why his body had move accordingly without his conscious mind being awe. He was beneath the body of a man... Jeon! Tobe didn't recognise his own voice calling out his brother's name.  
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_Jeon smiled into the face of his old man whom returned his smile with a snarl. "You could have been the one every man on this earth would fear to utter the name of. You could have had it all if only... If only you hadn't defied me," he spat blood onto his son's face during his passionate rant. "Your... Your feelings m-made you weak." He coughed, further spluttering blood onto his son.  
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_Jeon smiled wider, jerking his blade deeper into his old man's gut. "You've... got it wrong, o-old man." He hissed as his father returned the favour by jiggering the weapon plunged into his own abdomen. "It made me s..stronger... than you can ever imagine. I vowed t-to protect... my brother and I did anything..." Jeon coughed, bringing up the blood that had begun to pool in his lungs, "I could to achieve that goal." His father began to laugh. Jeon withdrew his hand and allowed his father to push away from him, staggering to remain on his feet.  
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_"You're a... Fool, Jeon... A real f-fool to protect..." He spared a disgusted glance at the boy quivering between Jeon's legs, "that." He began laughing again at the absurdity. Jeon stared, grounding his feet as he watched his father die slowly in fits of laughter. Once the body fell to the floor, Jeon finally allowed himself a moment to review his body. The kunai still remained lodged within him, his arm too broken to yank the obtrusive object from his body and his leg bone shattered along with his hip. He wasn't going to go running any time soon...  
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_"Jeon..." A soft voice cried. Jeon looked regretfully down at his baby brother. The very reason he was able to move at such speed despite his vast injuries. He attempted to smile, say anything to reassure him that it'd all be okay. Instead of lying, he kneeled and cupped his brother's cheek gingerly looking over the damage. Tobe looked on at his beloved brother pleading for him to say it was going to be okay. That he wasn't that wounded. "J-Jeon..." He cried, broken. He couldn't lose him. He couldn't...  
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_Jeon laughed lightly; gasping at the pain the chest movements caused him. "I've never see you look so d-down, Tobe. Where... did that ... happy-go-l-lucky boy gho?" Tears began to trickle down his face as he realised this was going to be the last time he saw his little brother. "C...can't you g-give me smile? P-phlease? Juh... Just a lihhl ohne?" He rasped. Tobe tried to comply but his face kept dissolving into a quivering look of despair.  
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_"Hyun... What... What am I going to do wit-without you?" Tobe grasped Jeon's hand and pushed it into his face, crying harder as it stung his wounds. "It's not fair."  
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_"Some things... never are." Jeon was beginning to lose consciousness, the blood loss finally getting to him. "Tobe... Y-you have tohe leave... Moh... move to thheh southern parts... anyhewere... the company can't find you. Mhake a life for yhoself..."  
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_"But mom-"  
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_"Yhu cannot... return... d-do you undhestand?" The reality of what was happening terrified Tobe but he nodded. He never disobeyed his brother. Jeon's lips fluttered up into an affectionate smile. "Wo ai ni," he whispered, placing his forehead against Tobe's. "...Wo ai ni."  
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_Tobe eyes flooded anew with Jeon's declaration. He became a dead weight and Tobe gently settled him down onto his side, sobbing and murmuring the saying back to his deaf ears over and over again without shame.  
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_It may have been hours since Jeon passed away before Tobe eventually stirred life back into his stiff frozen limbs. The sun had risen not long ago and Tobe had a duty to fulfil. He had already banged up his face with whatever he could scavenge after cleansing the area with water, an experience of which he knew he'd had to unfortunately repeat to avoid infection.  
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_Then it was time.  
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_Tobe began to gently tug his brothers body towards a spot he had come across, one of open beauty with flowers blooming out from under the trees shade. He carefully placed his brother on the outskirts and began to dig into the soft soil with his nails, dragging up large piles till he had broken down to about three feet hitting dense mud which he couldn't break apart. Gingerly, he lowered his brother into the opened earth. Only after removing the imposing weaponry, cleaning the blood from his face and folding his hands over his stomach peacefully did Tobe say his goodbye and replace the earth.  
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_Tobe gathered his things, spending one last moment looking on at the small bulge decorated with flowers and with a large stone with Jeon's name and date of death scratched into the surface. Then he was off, travelling his country surviving anyway he could._

It wasn't long after he had come across some of the very men that became his devoted followers. By the time he came to Sooga Village he had collected a rather large ragtag team of devotees and where he met Garu, whom he swore vengeance against. It had been so long since then that he couldn't recall why he had made Garu his sworn enemy, but he could easily see now the great similarities between Garu and Jeon which could explain why he was so adamant in staying to him. If he were to guess... By making Garu a mortal enemy he could still be connected to Jeon without risking losing him again...

Tobe laughed. Clearly, he was thinking too deeply into things and combined with his lack of sleep his delusional mind is beginning to torment him with such ridiculous none sense. No, he had a simple vengeance vendetta against the man and that was all.

Exhaustion was becoming intolerable. Tobe turned onto his side, tucked his legs slightly under himself, and closed his eyes.

Pleasant dreams of a strong young man, with eyes as gentle as a fathers and the incredible patience of a mother, consumed Tobe leaving him smiling in his sleep. And there, safely clutched against his chest was the scarp of cloth still stained with the blood from both Tobe and the brave man he would always treasure deep within his soul.

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><p><strong>Thoughts? Feels? I'd love to hear them ^^<strong>

**('Wo ai ni' Means 'I love you' in Chinese, and the rarity of it being said in that culture makes it a more shocking confession/a lot more sad.)**

**(Also, Kanzar? Totally made up so don't be confused if you've never heard of it :P )**


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